the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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