I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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