I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
one might say we're banned from that church
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
