im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
operation have a gay friend backfired
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I could fuck to npr.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Two words: nipple clamps
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