3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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