yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
