The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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