he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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