I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you would pick up someone in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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