hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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