Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
