my sisters under your porch take her home
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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