i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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