Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Someone shit on the floor
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?