the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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