Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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