If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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