So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
