Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
