Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
