just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can I color on your dick again?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
