I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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