Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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