i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
