VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
