Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
