It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
