And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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