I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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