mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
