i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
