Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
