Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
