So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
