i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
