I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
