Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
