is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
