he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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