Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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