I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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