2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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