if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am midnight drunk by noon
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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