I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I want a musical about memes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
