We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
