Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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