Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i think my cat just said my name.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
