I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
