Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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