he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
vagina is talking i cant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
