I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
