I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
