Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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