I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
