He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
