ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
