Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
