I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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