I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize