I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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