I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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