she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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How's work?
Spinning.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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