my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize