Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
