I need help removing her.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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