Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
