So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
