I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
