No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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