The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
did i just pee glitter
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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